Bullying in the Church

by the Rev’d Dr Mike Bossingham

When I became a representative for the Faithworkers section of Amicus the Union , I was deeply saddened to discover that a high percentage of my case load consisted of situations where bullying was being alleged.

The important thing to note about bullying at this stage is that there may well be no one major misdemeanour or incident, but rather a series of minor actions over an extended period of time.

Amicus defines bullying as “Persistent, offensive, abusive, intimidating, malicious or insulting behaviour, abuse of power or unfair penal sanctions, which makes the recipient feel upset, threatened, humiliated or vulnerable, which undermines their self-confidence and which may cause them to suffer stress.”

A disturbing element is the damage that is done to the target of bullying. I have seen a number of women (for the vast majority of these cases are women) who have lost their self-esteem and self-confidence. They have internalised the bullying, which means that they have come to accept what is being said to them and even believe that they deserve what has happened to them. In this work I have been made aware of both physical effects – headaches, inability to sleep – and psychological effects – anxiety, depression, tearfulness, poor concentration and a feeling of dread.

I find it particularly distressing when this has happened to a colleague that I have known and whom I remember as quite a different person in former years.

It is clear to see that violence and the threat of violence is bullying, but it can take many other forms. I have come across cases of repeated shouting at a target, belittling, humiliation and ridicule - even in front of others. The setting of impossible targets, constant questioning or overriding of authority can also be bullying, as can spreading rumours, starting whispering campaigns or excluding and ignoring someone.

It takes great courage to stand up and fight against bullying and the overall cumulative effect of these symptoms is to make it very difficult for someone to do this.

Now it may be that there are many cases which I never see where a situation is reported to a Superior and a quick and quiet word from them to the culprit is enough to check the bullying. If this is so, then all well and good, for this is one of the most effective ways of dealing with bullying. However not all Superiors deal with bullying in this simple but effective manner. There also will be many other cases that I never see simply because the target does not have the protection of Union Membership.

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